As they say opposites attract. He is a simple, down to earth, calm, no fuss fella with a desi edge whereas I was (am) complication personified. I want my fair share of drama and fuss and if I don’t get it, I am ready to throw a rolling on the floor level of tantrum. After LONG DISTANCE dating for good six years or so, we decided to take the leap of faith and invest ourselves in Holy Matrimony. As it is with almost all relations, some of our family folks were extremely happy with our decision and some were not. One thing I was really sure about was that I wanted a big fat Indian wedding. If one’s family members aren’t party to the wedding part, a lot of leg work is left on the “to be betrothed” and that is what we did. We sat with pens and pencils and calculators and vendor pamphlets and a handful of elders who were game to the shaadi saga. Lists, lists and more lists. There were discussions and then there were earth shattering arguments between us two ‘’lovebirds’’ (huh!!) where the elders helpfully kept us from killing each other. Date, venue, invitation card matter, his clothes, my clothes, gifts, and things we’ll require to set up our home post wedding- all ideas were put to paper and sorted.
I had the best wedding I could have ever dreamt of. Surrounded by our loved ones who really cared, bright happy faces, fun, laughter, dance, food and a bit of happy tears- my wedding memories are made up of this stuff. But the real fun was yet to begin. To date someone long distance and then to live with that someone for real under the same roof are two VERY different things.
Badly hung over on the wedding merriment and pampering that I received for a good month or so, I entered my hubby’s company accommodation where he has done the basic preps for going from single to a wedded fellow. I knew most of the things as, well, remember- THE LISTS…the new curtains check, new two burner gas stove check (he had a single burner one just to boil eggs and make tea). But wait a minute…where were the flowers, the candles…you know the frills? I was aghast and upset- how could you not work it out? It is a special day for us right? When you can get new curtains put up when you were away, why in the world could I not have a flower decked room to welcome me? Love started evaporating, condensing and flowing out through the eyes all at the same time.
Completely dumbfounded and clueless (that he is till date!) about how to handle a tantrum throwing girlfriend who has recently graduated to being a wife, he did what came naturally to him- Snored!! And I sat sleepless- angry and miserable and wondering ab mera kya hoga! I have married the wrong man! I want my mommmmmyyyy! I am nothing if not a drama queen.
Next morning, hunger and an unknown and almost empty kitchen helped me go a bit mellow. So over a hearty breakfast delivered to our doorstep by some thoughtful neighbours, I asked him, how in the world could he ignore such a big and important part of a big fat Indian wedding? AND between mouthfuls of upma, my day old hubby mumbles- if you wanted it so much, you should have asked me to put it in the ‘’To Do’’ list!! It took me some time to register the fact that he wanted me to put ‘’Suhag raat ka decoration’’ on the ‘’To Do’’ list which we were preparing with our elders. Even if the elders were not in the picture, how was I to know that this kind of thing needed a pointed mention!
I sat there wondering whether to go back to sulking or admire his simplicity and straight forward, no nonsense approach. I chose the latter. The laughter that followed washed away all the sulkiness while he kept asking what’s so funny with a cheeky grin. Good that I chose the latter because after ten years of matrimony, two lovely kids and millions of not so funny fights, what has helped us stick together and celebrate our inherent differences is a pinch of love and a dash of laughter.